The warmer weather is almost upon us and soon it will be time to emerge from hibernation, which many of us have succumbed to during the frigid temps.

But if your home has started to resemble a comfort cave over the winter and you could easily fashion a scarf out of the dust bunnies that have accumulated behind the couch, you might be starting to dread the inevitable chore of spring cleaning. (Insert impending doom sound here.)

We’ve comprised a list of helpful ways to simplify* your spring cleaning and make it a more manageable task.
*Simplify is open to interpretation and most of these methods have not been approved or recommended by anyone, ever.

1. Clean room by room. To do this effectively, begin cleaning and decluttering one room and quickly get distracted by the things you find. Spend the day trying on your wedding dress, making an old family recipe and posting class pictures from 1995 on Facebook. Disclaimer: Nothing will get accomplished but at least you unearthed your old Clarinet from elementary school. Now you can really toot your own horn. (Womp, womp.)

2. Declutter your stuff. Some people like to sell, donate or organize their excess stuff, but in order to simplify this process we recommend the quicker and more efficient method of setting fire to it in the backyard. If the fire department shows up, don’t mention this article. You’re on your own, man.

3. Get the whole household involved. What better way to spend time as a family than to bond over household chores while your loved ones complain incessantly about how much it sucks. In just a few short hours you can go from having a dirty, cluttered home, to having a slightly less dirty home that has become the scene of an attempted murder.

4. Make a schedule. Scope out your home and make a list to prioritize what areas need the most work and what spots are often overlooked during routine cleaning. Then crumple up that list and throw it in the trash because ain’t nobody got time for that.

5. Stock up on supplies. Make a list of all the supplies you’ll need to deep clean your home and head to the nearest Walmart or supermarket to purchase them. Once you get there, save time and buy wine instead – it’s cheaper. Once you’re buzzed you’ll forget all about the dust bunnies and you’ll have way more time to focus on playing the clarinet in your wedding dress.

6. Call us. Skip steps 1-5 altogether and call us to book your spring cleaning. We have way better tools and methods to get your home in tip top shape before the warm weather hits, no fires or attempted murders necessary.

Written by: Stacey Wood